

You have the option to pass on it entirely… but can you really resist all that money?įreddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator is filled to the brim with clever designs like this, perfect triangulations of horror, humor, and pragmatism. Essentially you have to submit yourself to the most immediate danger in the game, close proximity to an aggressive murderbot, for the chance at bonus cash. Of course, take your eyes off it too long and it’s coming across that table for you, which not only nets you nothing but looses the thing in your restaurant to kill you later. You have to watch for any response from the thing, and then take your eyes off it to mark the results.

This is done by sitting across a table from the derelict robot, under a low, flickering light, and playing audio cues for it. Your company helpfully salvages old animatronics and offers them to you for big cash bonuses, but only if you can complete a salvage checklist first. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the “bonus” round between shifts. If you learn how the office resources like motion detectors and audio devices work you can still get by, I suppose, but the key is that you are inflicting the horror on yourself this time. Cutting corners and taking insane deals like the $5 coal-black animatronic bear saves you money at the cost of making it harder to survive the night. That risk level represents the actual threat to you, in your office at your computer, that something not right has entered your restaurant and is going to make you not alive. However, mark-downs come from unverified sources, which means their risk level is higher.

It’s not much, so when your catalogs of party goods offer major mark-downs it can appear quite tempting. And what makes it so clever is that it’s thoroughly tied up in the economics of it.Įvery business day you get a small amount of money to buy and maintain your party equipment. That means that anything involving animatronics is going to come with a hazard to you, but unlike the previous games you have a significant level of control over that hazard. Despite initial appearances this one is ass-deep in the animatronic horror show that is the FNaF universe, with you leasing a franchise from the very company that inflicted these adorable murderers on the world. If you’re somehow unfamiliar with the Five Nights at Freddy’s games, they center on possibly-haunted animatronic puppets who have a bad habit of making their patrons incompatible with life. Depending on the choices you made when setting up your restaurant, the reason might just pop out to greet you. Apparently you do all this over a dial-up connection, so you’ll be sitting there for a good long while, perhaps wondering why those ducts are so damn big. All you have to do is order stocks of flatware and balloons, print out flyers and posters, and wait for the place to be cleaned. You do that in a tiny, poorly-ventilated office with a computer and two ironically-huge ventilation ducts, large enough to easily crawl through. Once you’re finished arranging your restaurant, you have to get it ready to face the day.

You’ve got everything from party hats and paper plates to pinball machines and robot entertainers to stock your business with, each with their own ratings for entertainment and, well… risk. Forget the low-res arcade thing on the store page, because what you’re actually doing after that fake-out is buying supplies and attractions for your restaurant, arranging them tastefully, and then managing the daily tasks of the place. That should be enough to get anyone to try it, but if not you’re welcome to join me in Spoiler Town so I can explain exactly why it’s all so brilliant.įreddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator is just that, a simulation of running your very own slightly-not-quite-right pizza restaurant. But this cute little thing here wouldn’t jumpscare me, right? It’s just a pixel pizza-slinging simulator! Make pizzas, feed kids, right? Right? No? No, it’s far more than that, and offers a clever new take on both horror and management sims by crossing wires between their key elements. I’ve always been a jumpy person, and while I’ve come a long way I still can’t handle jumpscares very well. For the longest time, I stayed as far away from Five Nights at Freddy’s as possible.
